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Bull Shit Media

Tuesday, December 28th v3.1412


A Christmas Pantomime!

Although we are already lounging in the ashes of Christmas, I've decided to present this little offering. It is a pantomime, involving two songs. The tunes of both are from Gilbert and Sulivan's "The Pirates of Penzance", and the songs are "He is the very model of a modern major General" and "A policeman's life is not a happy one", respectively. Here goes:-

(Steve Jobs is sitting in his office, poking pins casually through his IntelBunny voodoo doll. He calls up Sherlock on his iMac to look for more pins, and it lets forth the song it sings every time it is loaded (the Mac OS 8.9beta version))

Sherlock (singing):
I go to many search engines looking for material,
From makes and models of cars to the names of foreign cereals,
Anything you want to know I can find real quick,
The very useful to the pornographically si-i-ick.

If you want to know why Bill Gates is such a geek,
I might find what you want to know on Yahoo or infoseek,
Or if you want to find out why all PCs are cra-a-ap,
Hotbot or altavista will have it mayha-a-ap.

[Chorus (Sherlock plugins): Hotbot or altavista will have mayhap, Hotbot or altavista will have it mayhap, Hotbot or altavista will have it will have it ma-ay-hap!]

I understand English and rank results in relevance,
I can take the infinitive or even past tense,
In short in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern major OS add-on!

(Steve listens to the song proudly, and merrily types in 'More Pins'. Just as the results start appearing (the one of highest relevance is "Fish-tank sale, everything must go!"), a babble of Microsoft employees burst in.)

Microsoft employee 1: You Mac users are real nasty to Bill Gates, he has a hard life as well as you, you know!

Microsoft employees (singing):
With copying and rip-offs to be done [to be done],
And stealing all his java off Sun [off Sun],
And blackmailing Apple over Quicktime [over Quicktime],
Bill Gates' lot is not a happy one [happy one].

With reverse engineering all products [all products],
And making copies with the MS brand [MS brand],
And now he's got to deal with year 2000! [year 2000!],
Bill Gates' lot is not a happy one

[Ohhh! With copying and rip-offs to be done, to be done. Bill Gates' lot is not a happy one, happy one.]

(Then, one employee asks Steve Jobs about whether he is going to stay as Apple's CEO, where upon he swears and storms out of the room.)


Make sure you check out paulschreiber.com/mosrr/ , another excellent mosr spoof
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